We’ll reset your mindset.
In short comedy scene, “Asking Price” Pamela and Jesse debate over whether or not they should lower their selling price for their home.
PAMELA: Nobody wants to buy. I’ve gone up and down my list of contacts a hundred and fifty-two times, and no one, NO ONE wants to buy this monstrosity we reside in. (beat) We need to lower our asking price.
JESSE: Impossible.
PAMELA: Don’t tell me –
JESSE: We’ve been through this –
PAMELA: Two years –
JESSE: We agreed to keep it –
PAMELA: TWO YEARS.
JESSE: Until we sold it. The market will bounce back –
PAMELA: The market is on an island somewhere sipping piña colada and getting a tan. And it’s never coming back.
JESSE: You’re in a ragged mood –
PAMELA: Leave me alone.
JESSE: Let’s go for lunch.
PAMELA: No –
JESSE: Let me treat you to lunch and –
PAMELA: How?
JESSE: We’ll reset your mindset.
PAMELA: (coughs) You’re delusional.
JESSE: Why?
PAMELA: Because – and I’ll say this again and again till I’m blue in the face, our asking price is too high.
JESSE: But –
PAMELA: We even had an offer five million less –
JESSE: That was five million less!
PAMELA: We should have snatched it up!
JESSE: I have put more money into this home than –
PAMELA: Why? You overdid it, you overdid the renovations, all that design work, all that awful design work, carving through the walls for some angular art deco crap that nobody notices but you; you wouldn’t listen to me. We’re going to have to take a loss. It’s inevitable.
JESSE: Maybe it’s time we take this burden off your shoulders and assign a different agent.
PAMELA: What did you say?
JESSE: We can take on another –
PAMELA: If I can’t sell my own house, what in the hell does that make me?
JESSE: What does that make you?
PAMELA: A first-rate imbecile!
JESSE: There’s nothing wrong with help.
PAMELA: You would embarrass me like this, wouldn’t you?
JESSE: I’m only trying to take into consideration all –
PAMELA: You don’t give a crock about my feelings.
JESSE: We need to sell this house.
PAMELA: LOWER YOUR PRICE!
JESSE: We can’t afford to take the loss, Pam. We can’t!
PAMELA: Why can’t we?
JESSE: You know why.
PAMELA: It’s not my fault.
JESSE: Don’t blame me.
PAMELA: It certainly isn’t my fault, that’s for damn sure.
JESSE: I never said –
PAMELA: Should have had another film lined up –
JESSE: The other film I had fell through.
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In serio-comedy one act play, “Asking Price” Pamela tries to convince her husband Jesse that they need to substantially lower their asking price if they are to sell their house. 1 Woman, 1 Man.
