A short serio-comedy scene taken from the one-act eplay, ‘A Million Things At Once’, about two parents trying to raise their difficult son.
LARRY has been looking inside the refrigerator.
LARRY: What happened to all the iced tea I made this morning?
CARMELA: Ask your son.
LARRY: He couldn’t have drank all of it.
CARMELA: That’s him and his friends, upstairs.
CARMELA: Just make more.
LARRY: Do I have a choice? No consideration.
CARMELA: I was gonna make it for you but you got to it first.
LARRY: And he has to take out the trash.
CARMELA: Which reminds me. You gotta rake the leaves.
LARRY: Our son is gonna help me this time.
CARMELA: When his friends leave.
LARRY: No, now. I want his friends out.
CARMELA: It’s Saturday, relax.
LARRY: Now you want me to relax? But when I ask you, I have to hear your speech. God forbid I get bothered.
CARMELA: Cause you get bothered over stupid sh’t.
LARRY: I’m downstairs fussing with the washing machine, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with it, why it’s spitting out water and in the back of my mind I can’t wait to drink down some ice cold tea.
CARMELA: Are you about to have your manbaby moment?
LARRY: I wanted my iced tea!
CARMELA: When it comes to your food you act like a caveman. Do you hear yourself?
LARRY: Doesn’t matter. He should know better.
CARMELA: It’s there so he takes it. Do you really imagine our son would take a moment to make a fresh pot of iced-tea?
LARRY: No, I don’t.
CARMELA: There you have it.
LARRY: But he should.
CARMELA: We’re lucky he passed his driving test and got his license by some miracle.
LARRY finishes making a new batch of iced tea. He drinks.
LARRY: Ahh! That’s good. A bit sweet but good.
SUDDENLY a loud bang and laughter is heard coming from above.
I’m gonna kill this kid. The whole house is coming down!
LARRY walks to the foot of the stairs.
RICHIE!!! What the hell are you doing up there?
RICHIE (o.s): We’re just wrestling.
LARRY: Stop wrestling and come down here. We have to rake the leaves.
LARRY walks back into the kitchen.
Animals. The whole house shook.
CARMELA: That’s your son.
LARRY: It’s your son too.
CARMELA: Not when he acts like that. He gets that sh’t from you.
Feet are heard thundering down the stairs.
RICHIE (o.s) Dad, we’ll be outside!
Front door is heard slamming.
LARRY: What do I do? Do I kill him? What do I do with this kid?
CARMELA: He’s six foot five and eighteen years old. A giant puppy. You need to raise him is what you need to do.
LARRY: There’s no raising him. He don’t listen.
LARRY finishes his iced-tea and tosses it in the sink.
CARMELA: Go. I’ll do the washing up.
LARRY: Gonna have a talk with him when his friends are gone.
CARMELA: And say what?
LARRY: I want him to start thinking more in his life.
CARMELA: Good luck with that. I’ve tried.
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In the one act eplay, A Million Things At Once, Larry and Carmela try to find a new understanding about how they are raising their son with the right set of values. 1 Woman, 1 Man. Serio-Comedy/Drama.