Only If You Say Please
In Only If You Say Please, Buddy confesses to his long time best friend and partner in crime Len, that he is desperate to do another ‘job’.
Featured Monologue – Only If You Say Please
BUDDY: Len, you’ve been gone for almost seven years. Must have felt like seventy for you on the inside, for me it felt the same. I quit cold turkey. Took no scores. Marlo would show his face around here and my job for a year before he finally knew I was for real.
I didn’t trust nobody after you got pinched. Edna was all I had as a sure thing and I have to give her credit for taking me on and loving me, and for the first year or two I was actually fooling myself into thinking I was officially legitimate. But there’s that gnawing; aching feeling, like a wound that doesn’t ever heal, it throbs in your dreams, when you’re awake throughout your boring ass average day and you question every second…you keep looking for something because deep down you know this ain’t it, even though everything is figured out and you have the house with the pool and the f’n dog, but this ain’t it man.
Now you’re out…I’ve been secretly waiting, praying for this day to finally be here and it’s like for the first time I’m awake, there’s an excitement in the air, I’m alive and I want the action…so, you ask me if I’m all in…Lenny, does a bear sh’t in the woods or what?
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Monologue Summary
In the 1 minute dramatic monologue from Only If You Say Please, Buddy expresses his deep desire to get back into the hustle of pulling off a job.
- Genre: Drama
- Length: ~1 Minute
- Monologue Character: Buddy
- Age Range: Any
- Themes: friendship, crime
- Best For: Male Dramatic Monologues
World of the Play
- Cast Size: 1 woman, 1 man
- Characters in Play: Len, Buddy, Edna
- Time Period: Modern
- Synopsis: In the one act eplay Only If You Say Please, Len is back out from prison after 7 long years and he visits his best friend and crime partner Buddy and his wife Edna for dinner, when Len and Buddy make arrangements to embark on a fresh ‘job’.
FAQ
A: Monologue Blogger hosts a collection of monologues that focus on criminal activity and can be found at Crime Monologues Hub.
A: Monologue Blogger has a growing selection of crime monologue and you can start by checking out Hush, Before The Night Blows Cold, The Arrangement, and Right Between The Eyes.
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Monologue Source: Only If You Say Please
Only If You Say Please is a dramatic one-act ePlay by Joseph Arnone, 2026.
