15 Powerful Female Comedic Monologues

Discover 15 powerful female comedic monologues for auditions, acting practice, or performance. Original, funny pieces from Monologue Blogger.

Looking for more hilarious monologues for women? Then you must take a look at our 21 Funny As Hell Monologues for Women.

Where can I find comedy monologues for women?

Monologue Blogger provides actors with comedy audition material from published theater plays. We produce an ongoing series of female comedy monologues so you will always find new material on the site.

The 15 Powerful Female Comedic Monologues presented here are chosen from stories we’ve written to help provide you with a comedic boost for auditioning and acting practice.

Dog Anxiety

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Zara
• Duration: 1-2-minute monologue
• Description: Zara promised to watch her friend’s dog, but caring for little Oscar turns into a chaotic nightmare. Perfect for showcasing physical comedy and escalating frustration.
• Monologue Snippet: “She tells me, like it’s noooooo big deal. She says, “Zara would you mind watching my puppy for me for three days?” I said, “Sure, no problem.” No problem!” ~Zara
• [Read Full Monologue]

Darling Face

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Beverly
• Duration: 1-2-minute monologue
• Description: Beverly thought married life in the suburbs would be perfect, but reality delivers more boredom than bliss. A humorous piece about expectations vs. reality.
• Monologue Snippet: “A bear decided to greet me with its presence.  Yep.  A bear.  I’m not talking some cute little fuzzy wuzzy come pet me bear.  I’m talking a ten foot panting I’m gonna bite your head off bear.” ~Beverly
• [Read Full Monologue]

Phone Calls

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Meagan
• Duration: 2-minute monologue
• Description: Meagan is tired of guys playing games and finally calls it out. A sharp comedic monologue about dating and honesty.
• Monologue Snippet: “I met Frank like three days ago, yeah, it was Saturday night.  He hasn’t called me.  We text messaged each other for like half a day but he still hasn’t called me to make plans of any kind.  What is wrong with him?  I talk, I’m a good phone talker, I like talking, I love talking actually but he needs to call me.” ~Meagan
• [Read Full Monologue]

Underwhelm

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Wilma
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Wilma feels like a zombie trapped in routine. This monologue balances comedy with an undercurrent of existential crisis.
• Monologue Snippet: “An invisible shield has enveloped my being, and my eyes are clogged with fog. Nothing reaches me, and I reach nothing.” ~Wilma
• [Read Full Monologue]

Fungus Among Us

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Alexa
• Duration: 1-2-minute monologue
• Description: Alexa is disgusted by her roommate’s filthiness. A comedic rant that lets actors explore disgust and exasperation.
• Monologue Snippet: “Are you waiting for it to get up and walk itself out of the refrigerator? Are you? Really?  Am I the only one responsible enough to take a minute out of my day and clean up once and awhile?” ~Alexa
• [Read Full Monologue]

Over The Moon

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Lucia
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Lucia goes on a first date with a man from the 1700s, as they sit together under the soft glow of moonlight in Central Park, NYC.
• Monologue Snippet: “They do talk, you know…flowers, all we have to do is listen. I pay attention to things like that. I had this mother once who used to try and take care of plants but they would always die on her after a time. ” ~Lucia
• [Read Full Monologue]

Nobody Cares

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Maggie
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: In Nobody Cares, Maggie, a determined sales rep, goes overboard trying to give her customer Sally every bit of help imaginable—and then some.
• Monologue Snippet: “You’ve gotta flaunt it while you got it. That hat and that scarf brings me back to the roaring twenties all over again. And bring it back!” ~Maggie
• [Read Full Monologue]

Armed and Dangerous

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Aunt Gertie
• Duration: 2 -minute monologue
• Description: Aunt Gertie’s pushes into her granddaughter’s boyfriend who she deems as unfit to date her.
• Monologue Snippet: “I watched ye closely. Carrying on throughout grammar school, high school, when you scored a touchdown on the wrong side of the field. Nearly half the town was screaming at ya on that day.” ~Aunt Gertie
• [Read Full Monologue]

Lost in Thought

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Edna
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Edna tries her best to explain to her neighbor that she witnessed her frozen.
• Monologue Snippet: “It did appear as though you were staring right at me, so, I waved at you, but when there was no reaction, I became concerned. I was sure you were staring directly at me.” ~Edna
• [Read Full Monologue]

Can’t Wait Till Tomorrow

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Kyra
• Duration: 1-2-minute monologue
• Description: Kyra likes Frank but she believes that he isn’t as authentic as she needs him to be in order to having a trusting relationship.
• Monologue Snippet: “You know how to make me believe in you with all this outside stuff going on, but what’s inside Frank? Mmm? What lives in there? What else do you have up your sleeve for me? What can you hurt me with now?” ~Kyra
• [Read Full Monologue]

Catching Summer

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Pam
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Pam is upset with her boyfriend for passing out cold whenever he spots a turtle.
• Monologue Snippet: “You’re a damn fool, if there ever was one. Told you to eat before we left. Did ya listen? Nope. Do you ever listen? Nope.” ~Pam
• [Read Full Monologue]

Moment’s Notice

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Barbra
• Duration: 2-minute monologue
• Description: Barbra is frightened to go on stage because she believes she hasn’t had enough time to prepare for her performance.
• Monologue Snippet: “I entered the theater three hours early today to prepare, and still, not a second to myself, I’m surrounded by a thousand questions and distractions, and not a second to think!” ~Barbra
• [Read Full Monologue]

The Accusal

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Elly
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Elly refuses to admit or believe that her possible killed her dear friend after eating it.
• Monologue Snippet: “Death? What death? I only meant to make a righteous meal. It was never meant for Ned…it was never meant to do anyone any harm.” ~Elly
• [Read Full Monologue]

Becky’s Night Out

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Becky
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Becky is disappointed in her parents for making fun of the guy she’s dating.
• Monologue Snippet: “You’re both so superficial, it’s lame. Neither of you give a damn about my feelings, let alone Gino’s. All because he has big ears? Who cares? Is that all either of you think about? Looks?” ~Becky
• [Read Full Monologue]

Destination Wrong

• Genre: Comedy
• Character: Clara
• Duration: 1-minute monologue
• Description: Clara makes it clear to the guy she just met that she comes from nobility and demands respect.
• Monologue Snippet: “You must think I’m trash; handing me wine in a cup. I come from noble stock. NO-BIL-I-TY. I don’t have to be here; I choose to be here. Don’t get me confused.” ~Clara
• [Read Full Monologue]