17 Comedy Monologues from Short Play Scripts
17 Comedy Monologues from Short Play Scripts features funny characters and situations for auditions or acting practice in drama school.
Looking for more humorous monologues for women? Check out our 21 Funny As Hell Monologues for Women.
Finding the right comedy monologue can completely transform an audition, a classroom performance, or even a self-tape. Strong comedic material doesn’t just generate laughs — it reveals timing, character intelligence, vulnerability, and emotional range.
Our collection of 17 comedy monologues from short play scripts features memorable characters trapped in absurd, uncomfortable, and hilariously human circumstances. These pieces are excellent for:
- Auditions
- Drama school practice
- Acting workshops
- Showcases and reels
- Exploring comedic timing and character choices
Each monologue offers actors a chance to play with rhythm, physicality, and subtext — some of the essential ingredients that help to make comedy feel alive.
The Power of Comedy Monologues in Performance
There’s something uniquely electric about watching an actor deliver a comedy monologue in front of an audience. When the timing clicks and the character feels honest, laughter becomes communal — the room connects, listens, and rides the performance together.
Comedy monologues challenge actors to:
- Commit fully to unusual situations
- Maintain authenticity while embracing absurdity
- Balance emotional truth with comedic rhythm
- Stay present and responsive to audience energy
Great comedy isn’t about “being funny.” It’s about taking the character seriously while the situation oftentimes remains ridiculous.
There He Is
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Pete
- Length: 2-minute monologue
- Excerpt: “My co-worker is the most annoying guy in the world. I wish to God I wasn’t so nice to him when I first started working at my new job. I should have wondered why he was so overly nice at the start. I thought it was just good manners but it was purely desperation. You see, the guy is a douchebag, alright?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in trying to cope with someone who needs a friend but resisting the intensity despite your own desire for friendship.
Darling Face
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Beverly
- Length: 2-minute monologue
- Excerpt: “The nearest town where there is any sort of human life is approximately forty-five minutes from here. When I got into your old ass, run down, rathole of a truck, I turned on the ignition and noticed a little red gas light that caught my attention.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in not be willing to accept a life of economic struggle.
An Alien Keeps Stealing My Beer
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Noel
- Length: 2-minute monologue
- Excerpt: “I was standing outside my back porch when this alien spaceship landed in my backyard. Lights were shining bright and I could barely see but then they dimmed and I could see.
- So, a stair, a set of stairs comes out the side of this ship and a little alien man, he come stepping down the stairs and he walks up to me, he was a small fella, about four feet tall and he snatches my beer out from my hand and chugs it down.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the fact that an alien keeps stealing your freaking beer. =)
Over The Moon
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Lucia
- Length: 1-minute monologue
- Excerpt: ” It’s self-imposed claustrophobia. I can’t get back outside myself. Not sure if I ever was outside myself. You don’t follow me at all, do you? That’s not to say your dumb, cause you’re a really nice fella and all, it’s just that the way you look at me is different. Different in the way that you actually care to listen to my problems, but also different in the way that it doesn’t seem to register…on your face…what I’m saying.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in showing vulnerability with someone who actually cares about what you have to say for the first time in your life.
The Last M&M Samurai
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Dan
- Length: 1-minute monologue
- Excerpt: “You always gotta let the last man go. It’s honorable. He’s the last guy to make it out of the bag. The warrior. He’s the last samurai man.
- You have to give it some thought and wonder, how did this little m & m do it? How was he skilled enough to be the last m & m in the bag, out of all the other M & M’s in the bag?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in a deep seated philosophy that serves as a metaphor for never giving up.
Phone Calls
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Meagan
- Length: 1-minute monologue
- Excerpt: “Why do these guys have to play these stupid asinine games? Why do they have to have a dumb three day rule? I mean, if you like me and you are thinking about me, pick up your phone and dial my number. Right? Why play these games?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the frustration of dating games.
Raison d’etre
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Marlo
- Length: 1-2 minute monologue
- Excerpt: “Saw an ant carrying a dime on its back and thought, that little bastard has more money than me…probably has air conditioning, too. Kicks his feet up after a long day of work, cracks open an ice cold beer, farts till his heart’s content in the lap of luxury. Makes it rain on his yacht with all his cronies. Makes complete sense for a bug to be happier than me, don’t you think?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the hopelessness of being broke.
Ready, Aim, AIM
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Rose
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “Can I just ask you something? No really…can I? Now, I’m not trying to argue with you okay? I’m not trying to fight but…when you go to take a leak in the toilet bowl, do you miss on purpose?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the lack of care and concern your boyfriend has for keeping the house clean.
You Wouldn’t Believe Ralphy
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Ralph
- Length: 1-2 minute monologue
- Excerpt: “…Alright, alright, this is a true story, it’s true, so, it’s like, I was walkin’ along the f’n pond, you know, it was a short cut to get here, same way I always take and so I took it, but when I was walkin’ I tripped over a log, a log that I always leap over but this particular time it tripped me and so I fell to the ground face first into dirt and grass and that’s when I hear the growlin’.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in getting someone dangerous top believe in your true story.
Catching Summer
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Pam
- Length: 1-2 minute monologue
- Excerpt: “You’re a damn fool, if there ever was one. Told you to eat before we left. Did ya listen? Nope. Do you ever listen? Nope. You’re low on electrolytes. It’s why you’re pale. It’s why your calf muscles twitch. Lack of magnesium, too. You’re deficient..in many areas. Hmm. (to herself) Just get me out of here.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in dealing with a boyfriend who never listens to good reasoning.
Fishin’ For Misery
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Max
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “How do you live each day of your life the way that you do? Everything is so casual, easy. You don’t stress over nothing. I’ve never seen you worry about a damn thing and look at yourself, you’re a moron. You have no career, no money, no prospects…how do you even get by?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the agony of not seeming to get a leg up for your career path.
Dog Anxiety
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Zara
- Length: 2- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “She asks me to watch her puppy, Oscar. I say sure, I mean, how bad could it be to watch an innocent, harmless, cute little puppy? Right? Right? WRONG! It was a nightmare if there ever was one. Look at me! Do you see the bags under my eyes? I look like I went twelve rounds with Muhammad Ali. I look horrible!” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the exhaustion and obstacle of having to deal with a wild little puppy.
Medium
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Derek
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “I’m a medium. Why do you keep asking me if I’m a small? Do I look like a hobbit to you? I have wide shoulders. (standing up from his seat) Look. Look at me. See how my shoulders are wide and then as you go down it starts to V, that’s because I have wide shoulders, alright?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in not wanting anyone else to view you as less than what you are.
Fungus Among Us
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Alexa
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “Just once I would like to see you clean out the refrigerator Mara. Unbelievable! You think you would have some freaking decency. Why do I always have to do it?! It’s like you don’t care. You simply don’t care if we have people over and they look into our fridge! It’s disgusting. Just once I would like to see you clean out the refrigerator.” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the fact that your roommate leaves all the apartment responsibility up to you.
Across The Face
- Genre: Comedy
- Characters: Bobby
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “Hey, you know, I spent a lot of time listening to you for weeks on end about this new play you wanna make and how you need money to cover the opening costs because you think there’s a hit on your hands and it’s gonna make a ton a money and blah blah blah” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the idea that Bobby knows how to direct a show better than the person who he is investing money in.
Rather Be A Man
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Kim
- Length: 1- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “I don’t know what it is lately, but I’m getting tired of it! When guys come up to me with their weak lines, (imitating guy) “Hey, you have such a beautiful smile” or “Can I just tell you that you are so beautiful?”. Ugh! It disgusts me. I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments?” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the annoyance of dealing with men always approaching Kim.
Weight In Gold
- Genre: Comedy
- Character: Bill
- Length: 2- minute monologue
- Excerpt: “He was out by the corner there, walking his dog. Then a car pulls up; they leave the dog and stuff Stanley in the trunk, never to be seen or heard from again. Meanwhile, his dog takes a sh’t and falls asleep on the curb, as if nothing happened.
- I got a guy, one of them psychic readers, who talks to animals. Listen, I had the guy read the dog to find out what happened to Stan. The dog was a witness to the whole thing. Turns out the dog hated Stanley. Hated him!” [Read full monologue]
- Insight: The emotional core of this monologue is rooted in the game plan for getting back the money that was taken from you.
Using Comedy Monologues to Expand Your Range
Comedy monologues are a fantastic training tool and can sharpen the following:
- Pacing and Rhythm
- Listening skills
- Spontaneity
- Emotional transitions
- Physical expression
- Vocal rhythm and precision
- Character choices
They also encourage risk-taking, which is essential for growth in both comedic and dramatic performance.
Looking for More Comedy Monologues?
If you’d like to explore more dramatic, comedic, or audition-ready pieces, visit our Main Monologue Hub for a full collection organized by tone, age, and genre.
