Can I have a bowl of your finest oysters?

Rianna and Cosmo are undergoing their usual banter toward one another in this seriocomedy scene from, ‘Vin Rogue’.

RIANNA: I can’t trust a man who is willing to allow his woman to leave…

COSMO: Isn’t that what you desire?


COSMO: So why complain?

RIANNA: Because I want to fight!

COSMO: I don’t want to fight. I’m tired of fighting.

RIANNA: I don’t care!

COSMO: Stop shouting.

RIANNA: I don’t give a f’k, let them hear!

COSMO: …Then scream your head off until it explodes.

Rianna begins to sulk as Cosmo tries to ignore her.

COSMO: (lights a cigarette)

RIANNA: (crying)

COSMO: I want to die.

RIANNA: Stop it.

COSMO: I am serious. I have thought everything through. Nothing makes sense to me. This world is an absolute disaster. I am lost. You are crazy. I want to die. I am trying to figure out how I am to do it. Maybe you can help me.

Rianna gets up and slaps Cosmo repeatedly in the shoulder. Then she sits back down.

COSMO: I am serious.

RIANNA: So am I!



COSMO: I cannot take the noise of your voice. I still don’t understand why I haven’t had an aneurysm yet.

RIANNA: I want to go to America.


RIANNA: I am going to book my flight.

COSMO: Where in America?

RIANNA: New York City.

COSMO: So go.

RIANNA: You won’t come?


RIANNA: (she hits Cosmo in the shoulder)

COSMO: I’m hungry…excusez-moi!

Waiter hurries over.

COSMO: I would like something to eat.

WAITER: What would you like?

COSMO: What do you have?

WAITER: We have an entire menu.

COSMO: What do you recommend?

WAITER: What are you in the mood for?

COSMO: Food.

WAITER: We have oysters.

COSMO: More oysters?


COSMO: Can I have a bowl of your finest oysters?

Waiter leaves.

RIANNA: I am so fat.

COSMO: You look incredible.

RIANNA: I’m all whale blubber.

COSMO: You are a spectacular vision.

RIANNA: Where do you think Tilda went?

COSMO: She went to get some money.

Waiter appears with a plate of oysters and leaves.

COSMO (to Rianna): Have an oyster.

RIANNA: (eats an oyster)

COSMO: (eats an oyster) These are tasty oysters.

RIANNA: How long before Tilda comes back?

COSMO: She should be done soon. Want me to check?

RIANNA: (nods)

Cosmo goes to a door in the back of the cafe and opens it. He looks and closes it.

Cosmo sits back down.

COSMO: Soon.

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Vin Rogue by Joseph ArnoneIn the on act eplay Vin Rogue, Cosmo, Rianna and Tilda express themselves to one another while trying to discover who they are.  2 Women, 2 Men.  Serio-Comedy.  

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Joseph Arnone