In Fade To Black, Gram talks about how he wishes he could show love to his sons, but he can’t ever seem to climb over his inner mountain of hatred to do so.
GRAM: I don’t hate my sons. Sure, they’re a pair of nitwits, but it was never about hating them or their mother, they were just targets for my hatred, for this mounting anger I have heaving in my chest. Truth is, I hate myself. I despise who I am as a person. I’ve never been able to take a step beyond myself and be the person I always imagined myself being. How do people do that? You ever wonder? Use yourself for example, you never frown, always cheerful and good natured, it boggles my mind that someone like you actually exists on this planet and yet, I couldn’t come close to be in a place where you are naturally. Why is that? Why am I so unfit to be happy? It’s like I have two people living inside this relic of a shell…there’s the man I’d like to be and the man I actually am…I can never aspire enough to be that other guy, but damn it I know he’s in there somewhere cause he won’t let me breathe. Not a day goes by where he isn’t shouting inside of me to be allowed to come out…I want him to, I want him to so badly Luella…if I can be strong enough, even for a minute, to say the things I really wish I could say, to, to, to speak out my feelings, the one’s that get pushed so far down…maybe I can be free…what do you think?
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In this one-act eplay, Gram is in an ongoing battle with his two sons Gill and Beauford about taking over the house after he dies and turning it into a bed and breakfast. 1 Woman, 3 Men. Drama.
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