Why in the world did you invite her here?
A serio-comedy scene from one-act eplay Dancing With Elephants, wherein Doug tries to get his wife a publishing deal for her book.
Featured Scene – Dancing With Elephants
Doug talks through the bathroom door.
DOUG: Ellen…Ellen, please, open the door.
ELLEN: I’m not coming out.
DOUG: Ellen, it’s a great opportunity.
ELLEN: I am not going to meet that b’tch.
DOUG: But she can help you, Elle.
ELLEN: I want no help from that b’tch.
DOUG: Will you refrain from calling her that?
ELLEN: (opens door) Why in the world did you invite her here?
DOUG: We’re throwing a party! I was of the opinion that it wouldn’t cause any detriment.
ELLEN: You already know how I feel about her.
DOUG: But this is business, Elle.
ELLEN: I’d rather dance with elephants!
DOUG: My goodness. All you have to do is talk, and you have a remarkable time with words! Give her the full scoop on your book, peak her interest, and she’ll extend a helping hand.
ELLEN: She’s filthy.
DOUG: What?
ELLEN: Soaked in gunk.
DOUG: Do you want a book deal, or not?
ELLEN: Not with her.
DOUG: (sighs) I’m doing the best I can for you. Publishing is not in my wheelhouse, Elle.
ELLEN: Doesn’t Rupert fit into the equation?
DOUG: Oh, poor Rupert.
ELLEN: He’s still committed to publishing.
DOUG: Rupert has never published, he has represented. A first class literary manager.
ELLEN: He obviously knows people.
DOUG: Rupert knows everyone.
ELLEN: Ask him.
DOUG: Rupert is no longer with us.
ELLEN: …He died?
- To read the full ePlay Dancing With Elephants, find purchase button below:
Scene Summary
In the one-act eplay Dancing With Elephants, Doug tries to help Ellen get her book published, but the way things turn out isn’t what anyone could have imagined.
- Genre: Serio-Comedy
- Length: ~5 minute scene
- Characters: 2 women, 2 men
- Themes: marriage
- Best For: Serio-Comedy Scenes
FAQ
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Related Serio-Comedy Scenes
- No flowers, not even a card. – from Milton’s Plight
- What do you do for a living? – from Over the Moon
- Can I confess something to you? – from Waking Hours
- What story is it now? Aliens from outer space? – from You Wouldn’t Believe Ralphy
- Old Bobby invited me in for a meal the other night. – from Beer and Bobby’s Lasagna
Scene Source: Dancing With Elephants
Dancing With Elephants is a serio-comedy play script by Joseph Arnone, 2026.
