Been meaning to fire him for months now.

Dark humor scene from the short play, “Under the Impression” where a writer visits the office of an unusual publishing agent.

ROLAND: I…I’d like to think that my writing has, has possibility.

TERRY: Possibility?

ROLAND: Mm-hmm.

TERRY: Possibility. You’d like to think that your writing has possibility. What else do you do?


TERRY: You work?

ROLAND: I’m a librarian.

TERRY: You’re one of those. Yeah. You ever do any secretary work?


TERRY: Being a librarian is close enough for me. You want a job?

ROLAND: Well, I, what –

TERRY: As my new secretary. Miguel is a sh’t. Been meaning to fire him for months now. You want it?


TERRY: His job! You want his f’king job or not?

ROLAND: I came here because I was under the impression that you were interested in my novel.

TERRY: Of course not. It’s lousy.

ROLAND: But you haven’t read it.

TERRY: Do ya actually believe anybody reads any of the submissions all the way through?

ROLAND: Well, I was hoping that –

TERRY: You get ONE PAGE. If the first page is decent, we read on to FIVE, from there TEN and if things really get cooking TWENTY.

ROLAND: But you opened my novel in the middle.


ROLAND: You did.

TERRY: Would you like for me to read your work from the beginning, Rolly?

ROLAND: First page, please.

TERRY: (Terry reads first page to himself) …It’s not that bad.

ROLAND: Really?

TERRY: Come back and see me in three to five.

ROLAND: Three to five, what?

TERRY: Years.

ROLAND: Years?

TERRY: Look kid, I’ve been working this pound for thirty-five years. I can tell by the scent of you if you’re a decent writer. You don’t give off the right scent, Rolly. Not one bit. You don’t even look like a writer. You look more like a dentist.

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Under the Impression by Joseph ArnoneIn the one act comedy eplay Under the Impression, Roland is a writer invited to have a meeting with a publishing agent who doesn’t believe he is the writer he wishes to see.  3 Men.  Dark Humor.

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Joseph Arnone