Been meaning to fire him for months now.
Dark humor scene from the short play, “Under the Impression” where a writer visits the office of an unusual publishing agent.
ROLAND: I…I’d like to think that my writing has, has possibility.
TERRY: Possibility?
ROLAND: Mm-hmm.
TERRY: Possibility. You’d like to think that your writing has possibility. What else do you do?
ROLAND: Uh –
TERRY: You work?
ROLAND: I’m a librarian.
TERRY: You’re one of those. Yeah. You ever do any secretary work?
ROLAND: No.
TERRY: Being a librarian is close enough for me. You want a job?
ROLAND: Well, I, what –
TERRY: As my new secretary. Miguel is a sh’t. Been meaning to fire him for months now. You want it?
ROLAND: What?
TERRY: His job! You want his f’king job or not?
ROLAND: I came here because I was under the impression that you were interested in my novel.
TERRY: Of course not. It’s lousy.
ROLAND: But you haven’t read it.
TERRY: Do ya actually believe anybody reads any of the submissions all the way through?
ROLAND: Well, I was hoping that –
TERRY: You get ONE PAGE. If the first page is decent, we read on to FIVE, from there TEN and if things really get cooking TWENTY.
ROLAND: But you opened my novel in the middle.
TERRY: Did I?
ROLAND: You did.
TERRY: Would you like for me to read your work from the beginning, Rolly?
ROLAND: First page, please.
TERRY: (Terry reads first page to himself) …It’s not that bad.
ROLAND: Really?
TERRY: Come back and see me in three to five.
ROLAND: Three to five, what?
TERRY: Years.
ROLAND: Years?
TERRY: Look kid, I’ve been working this pound for thirty-five years. I can tell by the scent of you if you’re a decent writer. You don’t give off the right scent, Rolly. Not one bit. You don’t even look like a writer. You look more like a dentist.
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In the one act comedy eplay Under the Impression, Roland is a writer invited to have a meeting with a publishing agent who doesn’t believe he is the writer he wishes to see. 3 Men. Dark Humor.