Drama scene from the one-act eplay, “Three Blank Pages” wherein Preston (student) wishes for Mr. Miles (professor) to grade him an F.

PRESTON: Mr. Miles?

MR. MILES: Yes, Preston.

PRESTON: Do you have a moment?

MR. MILES: A moment. I have a moment, yes, come in.

PRESTON: I wanted to ask you—to talk to you about my grade.

MR. MILES: Your grade? You received an A, didn’t you?

PRESTON: That is precisely why I am here. Why on earth did I get an A?

MR. MILES: Why did you get an A?

PRESTON: Yes, why? Why did I get an A, Mr. Miles?

MR. MILES: It was a good essay.

PRESTON: I should have received an F.

MR. MILES: An F?

PRESTON: Yes.

MR. MILES: An F. (beat) I don’t…give out F’s.

PRESTON: That is what I deserved, Mr. Miles.

MR. MILES: I only give out A’s.

PRESTON: Why?

MR. MILES: Why? Because in my class, I have hardworking students – students who live up to their full potential and who have a deep desire to learn.

PRESTON: I don’t.

MR. MILES: Mm?

PRESTON: Live up to my potential.

MR. MILES: I know.

PRESTON: Oh. You are agreeing that you are aware of the fact that I couldn’t care less about your class.

MR. MILES: Certainly.

PRESTON: And you still gave me an A?

MR. MILES: Correct.

PRESTON: I don’t deserve an A, and I don’t give a damn about this class.

MR. MILES (Aloof): Tricky. (beat) Tricky. Tricky. Tricky.

PRESTON: What?

MR. MILES: Will that be all?

PRESTON: I would like you to give me an F.

MR. MILES: Of course you would.

PRESTON: So? Can you change my grade?

MR. MILES: Once the grade has been given, it has been given.

PRESTON: But you are the professor, you have the power to change it at any time.

MR. MILES (contemplating): Power. Hmm.

PRESTON: Please. Can you change my grade to an F?

MR. MILES: I’m not the one with the power, Preston.

PRESTON: What are you talking about?

MR. MILES: In regards to your grade. I cannot change it.

PRESTON: Why not?

MR. MILES: You already received an A.

PRESTON: I know, I know that! But I’m telling you, I want an F!

MR. MILES: There is no such thing as an F young man.

PRESTON: Of course there is!

MR. MILES: Not in my –

PRESTON: I handed in a blank essay! You fraud!

MR. MILES: How fascinating.

PRESTON: I gave you three blank pages stapled together.

MR. MILES: You did?

PRESTON: I did!

MR. MILES: Fascinating. Three whole pages…blank.

PRESTON: So?

MR. MILES: So…

PRESTON: Isn’t there some sort of penalty?

MR. MILES: Not that I’m aware of…no.

PRESTON: How does my essay submission warrant an A?

MR. MILES: Wouldn’t you agree that there was quite a bit of effort inherent in your lack of wording.

PRESTON: Lack of wording? There weren’t any words.

MR. MILES: My point exactly.

PRESTON: Mr. Miles –

MR. MILES: Mr. Preston.

PRESTON: I deliberately handed in an empty essay. No words, nothing, no meaning, it was empty! And you, you think you have the right to grade it, let alone give it an A!

(pause.)

MR. MILES: You are breathing heavy, Preston. Perhaps you should have a seat.

Mr. Miles hands Preston a water bottle.

Getting yourself so worked up can really sound the alarm. Drink up.

Preston drinks and spits it out.

PRESTON: What the hell is this?

MR. MILES: Vodka.

PRESTON: What?!

MR. MILES: It’ll take the edge off.

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In the one-act eplay, “Three Blank Pages” Preston visits his English Professor Mr. Miles because he doesn’t understand why his blank essay submission received an A grade.  2 Men.  Drama.

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