I’m not some object, ya know?

Drama scene from one-act eplay, “If All That We Say” wherein Orson finds out that Audra (the woman he loves) is leaving town for good.

ORSON: Know why I came here?


ORSON: To see your pretty face. Why do I gotta go see the world when I got your pretty face right here.

AUDRA: A real Casanova.

ORSON: I’ve my moments.

AUDRA: I wanna see the world.

ORSON: I know you do.

AUDRA: I wanna go everywhere at least once. Sick of this bar. I need a life.

ORSON: But don’t this place give you one?

AUDRA: It keeps me alive, don’t mean I’m living.

ORSON: You’re too pretty to be sad.

AUDRA: Come on, enough with that small talk.

ORSON: Just saying –

AUDRA: Well, don’t –

ORSON: Sorry. I don’t mean to upset ya.

AUDRA: I’m not some object, ya know?

ORSON: I know.

AUDRA: You think you’re the only one around telling me I got a pretty face?

ORSON: (opens his mouth, but nothing comes out)

AUDRA: Loads of men, droves of ’em. I need a fly swatter to squish them all, alright?

ORSON: I’ll help ya.

AUDRA: I bet you would. What is it with men these days anyway?


AUDRA: Either you’re scared to talk or talk too much. There’s no in between, no finesse, no charm, only fear or aggression. Whatever happened to asking a woman out on a date, huh? Treating her nice, doing something memorable, something special even…doesn’t take a genius to think of that. It’s the apps, these phones. Yeah? Nobody knows how to talk in person, look into one another’s eyes and not get all weird. Friendly. Warm. What happened to approach? It’s a dying breed, I’m telling you..fading away..almost extinct.

ORSON: I’m talking not weird, ain’t I?


ORSON: Yeah.

AUDRA: Come on, Orson, you’re a regular, a local. We’re way passed the awkward stage.

ORSON: What awkward stage?

AUDRA: When you first started coming here.

ORSON: I was awkward?

AUDRA: (imitating him) “Beer, please.” “Beer, please.” Haha. Famous first words. Cat caught your tongue.

ORSON: You’re right.

AUDRA: I know I’m right.

ORSON: I did. I, I—you made me nervous.


ORSON: Your intensity.

AUDRA: Ha, ha, ha.

ORSON: Wasn’t sure if you were gonna serve me a beer or a bat to the head. (They both laugh.) I mean, really.

AUDRA: ‘Cause you stare at me like a deer in headlights. I’m waiting for you to tell me what you want and all you could say is, “Beer, please.” Not what kind of beer, just “Beer, please.”

ORSON: We talk now though.

AUDRA: Yeah.

ORSON: You ever think maybe it’s you?

AUDRA: Don’t start.

ORSON: Your intensity makes guys afraid of you…maybe.

AUDRA: I wasn’t raised to be no push over, so –

ORSON: Yeah, but you always look like you’re ready to throw down.

AUDRA: I am.


AUDRA: If I have to, but I don’t walk around looking for a fight, I have a business to run.

ORSON: I hear ya.

AUDRA: Which is dying a slow, long and miserable death.

ORSON: What is?

AUDRA: This bar.

ORSON: Slowing down on ya?

AUDRA: Eh, I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m ready to close up shop, pack up and bounce.

ORSON: And then what..what comes next?

AUDRA: (lights cigarette) Who knows?

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

If All That We Say by Joseph ArnoneIn the one-act eplay, “If All That We Say” Orson visits his favorite bar to learn that Audra (bar owner) is leaving unexpectedly and when he finds out he expresses everything he’s been truly feeling about her.  1 Woman, 1 Man. Drama.

Purchase ePlay

Monologues from Plays

Monologues From Plays

Monologue Blogger offers a wide range of monologues from plays. We invite you to have a look: Monologues from Plays

Joseph Arnone