“Ask Out Samantha Scheme” is a comedy script about 2 old friends who reside in a luxury retirement club in Florida competing for women. 1 woman, 2 men.
Ask Out Samantha Scheme
GENE enters the wreck room.
Gene: (to himself) Eh, where is he?
Charlie: He’s over here.
Gene: (looking behind himself) Over where?
Charlie: Here! Here!
Gene: (noticing Charlie) Oh! There you are. You know I’ve been looking all over for you. I was at the ping pong table waiting for you.
Charlie: We were meeting right here.
Gene: But you said the ping pong table.
Charlie: First I said the ping pong table but then I said the pool table.
Gene: Oh. I didn’t hear you.
Gene: We gonna get a round?
Charlie: I’ve already played a round and I pulled my vertebrae. I’m out.
Gene: Why didn’t you come and get me first? If you didn’t see me—
Charlie: Because I was already over here waiting for you.
Samantha walks by.
Samantha: Nice talking with you Charlie. Hi Gene.
Gene: Oh, hi Samantha.
Now it makes sense.
Charlie: What does?
Gene: Why you didn’t come looking for me.
Charlie: Well I bumped into Sam, I couldn’t just leave her.
Gene: You both could have looked for me together.
Charlie: Nobody wants to walk around looking for somebody in this heat.
Gene: If the shoe was on the other foot though, I’d never hear the end of it.
Charlie: Oh, stop it.
Samantha: I’m sorry, Charlie dear.
Samantha: Thursdays no good.
Charlie: It’s not?
Samantha: Thursday my niece is coming by. I completely forgot. Want to do Friday instead?
Charlie: Friday works for me.
Samantha: Same time?
Charlie: You got it.
Samantha: See you then.
Gene: Son of a bitch. You set me up.
Charlie: Now wait just a minute Gene.
Gene: You bastard. You did it to me again. You had me waiting by the ping pong table as a diversion for your little ask out Samantha scheme.
Charlie: I was gonna tell you.
Gene: You know I like her.
Charlie: Yes but I didn’t think she’d go for it and I didn’t want to say anything to you unless she did.
Gene: Unbelievable. I was planning on asking her out. You knew this!
Charlie: You snooze you lose what can I say pal.
Gene: I hope you burn for this.
Charlie: Gene, I’m lonely.
Gene: Well I’m more lonely!
Charlie: It’s just a friendly cup of coffee. That’s all.
Gene: Just coffee?
Charlie: Sure. A different change of pace. Nothing more.
Gene: Do you like her?
Charlie: I like her but it’s more like a different change of scenery than anything else.
Gene: So put in a good word for me.
Charlie: Are you serious?
Gene: Sure I am. You owe me. Put in a good word for me.
Charlie: And say what?
Gene: You tell her I am interested in—no wait! Ask her what she thinks of me.
Charlie: Are you sure?
Gene: Yes. Ask her and see if she’s interested. Will you do that?
Charlie: Okay, Gene.
Gene: Now that’s friendship.
Charlie: I need to go lay down cause of my back.
Gene: I’ll walk with you.
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