Ask Out Samantha Scheme

“Ask Out Samantha Scheme” is a comedy script about 2 old friends who reside in a luxury retirement club in Florida competing for women. 1 woman, 2 men.

Ask Out Samantha Scheme

GENE enters the wreck room.

Gene: (to himself) Eh, where is he?

Charlie: He’s over here.

Gene: (looking behind himself) Over where?

Charlie: Here! Here!

Gene: (noticing Charlie) Oh! There you are. You know I’ve been looking all over for you. I was at the ping pong table waiting for you.

Charlie: We were meeting right here.

Gene: But you said the ping pong table.

Charlie: First I said the ping pong table but then I said the pool table.

Gene: Oh. I didn’t hear you.

Charlie: Fine.

Gene: We gonna get a round?

Charlie: I’ve already played a round and I pulled my vertebrae. I’m out.

Gene: Why didn’t you come and get me first? If you didn’t see me—

Charlie: Because I was already over here waiting for you.

Samantha walks by.

Samantha: Nice talking with you Charlie. Hi Gene.

Gene: Oh, hi Samantha.

Samantha leaves.

Now it makes sense.

Charlie: What does?

Gene: Why you didn’t come looking for me.

Charlie: Well I bumped into Sam, I couldn’t just leave her.

Gene: You both could have looked for me together.

Charlie: Nobody wants to walk around looking for somebody in this heat.

Gene: If the shoe was on the other foot though, I’d never hear the end of it.

Charlie: Oh, stop it.

Samantha enters.

Samantha: I’m sorry, Charlie dear.

Charlie: Yes.

Samantha: Thursdays no good.

Charlie: It’s not?

Samantha: Thursday my niece is coming by. I completely forgot. Want to do Friday instead?

Charlie: Friday works for me.

Samantha: Same time?

Charlie: You got it.

Samantha: See you then.

Samantha leaves.

Gene: Son of a bitch. You set me up.

Charlie: Now wait just a minute Gene.

Gene: You bastard. You did it to me again. You had me waiting by the ping pong table as a diversion for your little ask out Samantha scheme.

Charlie: I was gonna tell you.

Gene: You know I like her.

Charlie: Yes but I didn’t think she’d go for it and I didn’t want to say anything to you unless she did.

Gene: Unbelievable. I was planning on asking her out. You knew this!

Charlie: You snooze you lose what can I say pal.

Gene: I hope you burn for this.

Charlie: Gene, I’m lonely.

Gene: Well I’m more lonely!

Charlie: It’s just a friendly cup of coffee. That’s all.

Gene: Just coffee?

Charlie: Sure. A different change of pace. Nothing more.

Gene: Do you like her?

Charlie: I like her but it’s more like a different change of scenery than anything else.

Gene: So put in a good word for me.

Charlie: Are you serious?

Gene: Sure I am. You owe me. Put in a good word for me.

Charlie: And say what?

Gene: You tell her I am interested in—no wait! Ask her what she thinks of me.

Charlie: Are you sure?

Gene: Yes. Ask her and see if she’s interested. Will you do that?

Charlie: Okay, Gene.

Gene: Now that’s friendship.

Charlie: I need to go lay down cause of my back.

Gene: I’ll walk with you.


Joseph Arnone


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