In serio-comedy monologue, “Half of Nothing” Willard vents at his friend for forgetting the amount of money he has owed him for over a year.
WILLARD: This is what happens. I been waiting so long for you to pay me back; you don’t even remember what you owe me. And you know what comes next? Next is you don’t owe me anything! You’ll think you paid me back, or you’ll forget you even borrowed from me to begin with. And I’ll be left stranded on a deserted island named FORGOTTEN. Debts need to get paid! I’m not a credit card company, Ralph! I’m not charging interest like a gangster; I’m your friend. At least remember how much money it was! I’d rather you never pay me back than forget you owe me money; at least there’s some sort of sensibility in that, you know? I won’t feel used. Don’t pull that sh’t on me. Don’t do it. I react very unfavorably to that style of treatment. Wanna make me wait? Fine, but don’t wake me up one day with a clear head, ’cause you haven’t seen me in a while. It’s five-hundred, FIVE, big FAT F! YOU HEAR?!
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In the one-act eplay, “Half of Nothing” Willard shows up at Ralph’s apartment demanding he gets paid back the money owed him. The problem is Ralph is broke. The two friends engage in a discussion going over their troubles and possible future solutions. 2 Men. Serio-comedy.