In serio-comedy eplay, “Hullabaloo” Maggies complains to her neighbor about her son and how she’s trying to get a handle on his bad behavior.

DUN: How you doin’ there Mag?

MAGGIE: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know.

DUN: You alright?

MAGGIE: Yes and no, I don’t know.

Dun and Maggie both approach their opposite sides of a fence.

DUN: Is Charlie okay?

MAGGIE: Charles is fine. It’s my son I’m worried about.

DUN: How so?

MAGGIE: Aww, the kid don’t listen. I try to steer him right but he always wants to crash. You know what he did just the other day? He goes to Roger’s Go Carts and decides he wants to turn it into Roger’s Crash Carts. Now imagine the look on Jimmy Cromwell’s face when he first saw FIVE of his go carts smashed to smithereens!

Dun: Hell, I know Jimmy—

MAGGIE: He was furious, Dun. He went and called the cops and Chief Willington came and put my son in a prison cell overnight. I couldn’t imagine where he was…by midnight, I was shaking like a leaf, Charles gone off driving through town looking for him and then a knock on my door, Jimmy Cromwell standing on my front porch looking all sad and sappy and telling me he had my son thrown in jail and thought I should know. Thought I should know? Well, I almost tore his face off like a puma cat if it weren’t for that damn door screen that come between us. He ran on down back into his fancy schmancy corvette. I mean, how can Jimmy think to do something like that to me? We known him all our lives. Can’t tell you how many times we saved him from drowning in that there lake. Bet you he still don’t know how to swim. Least he coulda done was give my boy a pass. Not like it’s the end of the world, I mean really now.

DUN: How much damage your son make?

MAGGIE: I went over there this morning and took assessment of it all, by myself. Damage? What damage? There ain’t no damage Dun. Talking ’bout a few go carts got turned over is all. Jimmy making such a big darn fuss over it.

Imagine? We’re talking bruises and scratches, not like he described, talking like it was nothing but carnage with blood in the streets and body parts all over the track and smoke and fire and insanity like some major motion picture. Give me a break! Nothing further from the truth, I’m telling ya.

DUN: Golly.

MAGGIE: Even went and spoke to them boys that work there and they were in stitches. Laughing and hissing over my son’s antics, like it was all good fun. They explained to me that Jimmy was just making a fuss cause it wasn’t the first time my son Michael caused a ruckus. Now, I understand Jimmy’s point, but there’s more than one way to make a point. Sending my son to jail? Shame on him and shame on his whole family!

DUN: Now, now Maggie, you mustn’t go and say a thing like that.

MAGGIE: I’ve had it!

DUN: Come now Maggie, Jimmy just wanted to teach the boy a lesson is all.

MAGGIE: Lesson? Don’t tell me you’re siding with that heap of manure!

DUN: I ain’t taking no one’s side but yours sweet Maggie.

MAGGIE: I don’t know what else to do with this boy. He’s raising hell!

DUN: I hear them stories, they travel fast through town. Just about each time I go down to the hardware shop, there’s another story about Michael.

MAGGIE (shrieks): Tell me you’re joking!

DUN: No, ain’t joking.

MAGGIE: My whole family’s reputation is going down the drain. We’re becoming those folks you and I used to make fun of…who were they, THE SMITHS! Remember them?

DUN: Maggie, I assure you that nobody in town is looking at you or your family like the Smiths. I promise you that.

MAGGIE: …What am I supposed to do about my son? I can’t seem to control him and he’s only getting worse.

• To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

In the one-act ePlay Hullabaloo, Maggie talks with her longtime neighbor Dun about the problems she’s been facing with her teenage son Michael.  1 Woman, 1 Man.  Serio-Comedy.  

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