In Under the Impression, Terry (a publishing agent) speaks with newcomer Roland about what he’s missing in order to be a successful writer.
TERRY: I want to see teeth, REAL teeth, coffee stained chipped teeth. Deeply set eyes, mismanaged hair n’ odor stains under your armpits. You look too plump, Rolly. Too much weight ’round them cheeks a’ yours. You should be paper thin skinny, cause you’re too busy being hungry, choking on coffee and smokin’ cigarettes all damn day. You have too much rose in your cheeks. Makes me think of a cherub baby. How’s that face gonna be on a book’s dust jacket? They’ll take one look at you Rolly n’ sales will go through the basement. Let’s take a look at them nails…too manicured and your suit…it’s all wrong. Don’t you see pal, I need a writer who looks like they’re willing to die for the cause. Are you willing to die Rolly? (beat) That’s what I mean. Too much air between your ears. You should have barked out a violent YES! If this at all matters to you, go out into the world, get smashed and come back to me in five years when you’ve lost everything you’ve ever loved and you’ve something to say…then maybe, and still, there’s no guarantee on this, maybe someone else, other than this made up idea of yourself, will actually give a s*%t enough to read chapter one. You’re an infant, Rolly! You’ll be eaten by wolves if I don’t save you from them.
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In the one act comedy eplay Under the Impression, Roland is a writer invited to have a meeting with a publishing agent who doesn’t believe he is the writer he wishes to see. 3 Men. Dark Humor.