What the hell is going on here?

In the serio-comedy scene from play act, ‘Number 23’, Cal returns to the laundromat to pick up an item that has been deliberately thrown out.

CAL: Hiya…(holding up laundry ticket) got this ticket here, says twenty-three.

Cal hands ticket to Siri. Siri shakes her head no.

SIRI: We throw away.

CAL: Excuse me?

SIRI: We throw away.

CAL: I don’t quite follow you.

SIRI: The item, number twenty-three, gone.

CAL: You say gone?

SIRI: Gone.

CAL: …What happened?

SIRI: We throw away.

CAL: Why??

SIRI: Could not be saved.

CAL: That normal?

SIRI: Huh?

CAL: To throw a customer’s clothing away.

SIRI: Not normal.

CAL: But you threw it away?

SIRI: Number twenty-three.

CAL: Yes, I know. I comprehend that you said you threw number twenty-three away, but I’m asking you WHY did you do that?

SIRI: Do what?

CAL: Why did you throw away number twenty-three?

SIRI: Could not be fixed.

CAL: Why wouldn’t you return the clothing back to its rightful owner?

SIRI: Return. We no return. No Returns.

CAL: What the hell is going on here?

SIRI: What?

CAL: What do you mean when you say ‘no returns’?

SIRI: You buy, you keep.

CAL: If a customer enters your shop with a stained dress shirt and they come back two days later to retrieve that dress shirt, do they get it returned to them?

SIRI: No returns.

CAL: If I have a tear in my pants and bring it here for you to fix, will you give it back to me?

SIRI: If fix.

CAL: And if not fixed?

SIRI: We give back.

CAL: So, why aren’t you giving me back number twenty-three?

SIRI: No can fix.

CAL: But I want it back.

SIRI: We throw out.

CAL: I want it back.

SIRI: We throw out!

CAL: Why?

SIRI: Because we no fix!

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Number 23 by Joseph ArnoneIn the one act comedy eplay Number 23, Cal visits the laundry shop to pick up Mrs. Hudgin’s gown only to discover that it was thrown out for reasons that aren’t exactly clear.  1 Woman, 2 Men.  Comedy.

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Joseph Arnone